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NFL Surface Type Cover Keyboard Unveiled

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Microsoft announced new NFL team-branded editions of its Surface Type Cover keyboard, which will work with the Surface Pro 3 and Surface Pro 4. The keyboards will be available starting Aug. 15 at Microsoft Stores and at microsoftonline.com for $159.

The NFL-branded keyboards look to be versions of the Signature Type Cover ($159), albeit with team logos on the underside. The keyboards are swathed in a two-tone, gray mélange Alcantara fabric, "a unique and innovative material used in high-end luxury products, sourced only from Italy," according to Microsoft's site.

However, the NFL Type Covers will have a little something extra for the fans. Here's a look at the special features of each.

 Arizona CardinalsMacro key inserts "Show me the money!"
Atlanta FalconsSpeakers automatically increase volume to drown out conversation.
Baltimore RavensPretty good, but questions about how long it will hold up.
Buffalo BillsPackaging claims it's a lot better than it actually performs.
Carolina PanthersStarts Dabbing every time you send an email.
Chicago BearsWorks pretty well, but gets consistently bad reviews online.
Cincinnati BengalsBuilt-in speakers say, "Who Dey!" but not much else.
Cleveland BrownsHas only two keys: Escape and Delete.
Dallas CowboysTwice as large as the others and makes a lot of noise as you type, but only half the keys work.
Denver BroncosHas a dedicated button for ordering Papa John's Pizza.
Detroit LionsRandomly enters curse words as you type.
Green Bay PackersComes with built-in finger warmers, which you'll never use.
Houston TexansWorks well at first, but falls apart quickly.
Indianapolis ColtsOnly works well indoors.
Jacksonville JaguarsCompatible only with Microsoft Surface RT.
Kansas City ChiefsTypes everything you enter, but very, very slowly.
Los Angeles RamsWill get up and move off your desk every few years.
Miami DolphinsAlways compared to older, far superior Microsoft PS2 ergonomic keyboard.
Minnesota VikingsTop of keyboard may cave in unexpectedly.
New England PatriotsCan be inflated or deflated to just the right height.
New Orleans SaintsHas one really good key, but it might fall off at any time.
New York GiantsNever seems to work, except during big presentations.
New York JetsComes with a retro mink liner, but works only a quarter of the time.
Oakland RaidersMade up of used parts from other keyboards.
Philadelphia EaglesTypes everything in all caps. Easily removable batteries for throwing at opponents.
Pittsburgh SteelersKeyboard made out of iron, weighs 10 pounds.
San Francisco 49ersHas LTE, Wi-Fi, NFC and Bluetooth, but can't connect in the air with anything.
Seattle SeahawksAutomatically pairs with noise-cancelling headset.
San Diego ChargersThreatens to shut down unless you renew your subscription to Office 365.
Tampa Bay BuccaneersNote: Creamsicle-colored version has been recalled.
Tennessee TitansOlder models were great, but it hasn't worked well in about a decade.
WashingtonOwner Dan Snyder charges you 10 cents every time you press a letter.

Editor's Note: If you haven't guessed this is a parody by now, well, it is.

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