Microsoft announced new NFL team-branded editions of its Surface Type Cover keyboard, which will work with the Surface Pro 3 and Surface Pro 4. The keyboards will be available starting Aug. 15 at Microsoft Stores and at microsoftonline.com for $159.
The NFL-branded keyboards look to be versions of the Signature Type Cover ($159), albeit with team logos on the underside. The keyboards are swathed in a two-tone, gray mélange Alcantara fabric, "a unique and innovative material used in high-end luxury products, sourced only from Italy," according to Microsoft's site.
However, the NFL Type Covers will have a little something extra for the fans. Here's a look at the special features of each.
|Arizona CardinalsMacro key inserts "Show me the money!"|
|Row 1 - Cell 0||Atlanta FalconsSpeakers automatically increase volume to drown out conversation.|
|Row 2 - Cell 0||Baltimore RavensPretty good, but questions about how long it will hold up.|
|Row 3 - Cell 0||Buffalo BillsPackaging claims it's a lot better than it actually performs.|
|Row 4 - Cell 0||Carolina PanthersStarts Dabbing every time you send an email.|
|Row 5 - Cell 0||Chicago BearsWorks pretty well, but gets consistently bad reviews online.|
|Row 6 - Cell 0||Cincinnati BengalsBuilt-in speakers say, "Who Dey!" but not much else.|
|Row 7 - Cell 0||Cleveland BrownsHas only two keys: Escape and Delete.|
|Row 8 - Cell 0||Dallas CowboysTwice as large as the others and makes a lot of noise as you type, but only half the keys work.|
|Row 9 - Cell 0||Denver BroncosHas a dedicated button for ordering Papa John's Pizza.|
|Row 10 - Cell 0||Detroit LionsRandomly enters curse words as you type.|
|Row 11 - Cell 0||Green Bay PackersComes with built-in finger warmers, which you'll never use.|
|Row 12 - Cell 0||Houston TexansWorks well at first, but falls apart quickly.|
|Row 13 - Cell 0||Indianapolis ColtsOnly works well indoors.|
|Row 14 - Cell 0||Jacksonville JaguarsCompatible only with Microsoft Surface RT.|
|Row 15 - Cell 0||Kansas City ChiefsTypes everything you enter, but very, very slowly.|
|Row 16 - Cell 0||Los Angeles RamsWill get up and move off your desk every few years.|
|Row 17 - Cell 0||Miami DolphinsAlways compared to older, far superior Microsoft PS2 ergonomic keyboard.|
|Row 18 - Cell 0||Minnesota VikingsTop of keyboard may cave in unexpectedly.|
|Row 19 - Cell 0||New England PatriotsCan be inflated or deflated to just the right height.|
|Row 20 - Cell 0||New Orleans SaintsHas one really good key, but it might fall off at any time.|
|Row 21 - Cell 0||New York GiantsNever seems to work, except during big presentations.|
|Row 22 - Cell 0||New York JetsComes with a retro mink liner, but works only a quarter of the time.|
|Row 23 - Cell 0||Oakland RaidersMade up of used parts from other keyboards.|
|Row 24 - Cell 0||Philadelphia EaglesTypes everything in all caps. Easily removable batteries for throwing at opponents.|
|Row 25 - Cell 0||Pittsburgh SteelersKeyboard made out of iron, weighs 10 pounds.|
|Row 26 - Cell 0||San Francisco 49ersHas LTE, Wi-Fi, NFC and Bluetooth, but can't connect in the air with anything.|
|Row 27 - Cell 0||Seattle SeahawksAutomatically pairs with noise-cancelling headset.|
|Row 28 - Cell 0||San Diego ChargersThreatens to shut down unless you renew your subscription to Office 365.|
|Row 29 - Cell 0||Tampa Bay BuccaneersNote: Creamsicle-colored version has been recalled.|
|Row 30 - Cell 0||Tennessee TitansOlder models were great, but it hasn't worked well in about a decade.|
|Row 31 - Cell 0||WashingtonOwner Dan Snyder charges you 10 cents every time you press a letter.|
Editor's Note: If you haven't guessed this is a parody by now, well, it is.
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