He may not be known for being cerebral, but Ashton Kutcher has been tapped to play Steve Jobs in an upcoming biopic about the Apple genius' life. While he'll have to do some serious acting to capture the late Jobs' intense personality, Kutcher does look the part. The rest of the cast remains unknown, but we have some ideas for the casting agent.
Our snobby reservations about the casting decision aside, Kutcher does look like a young Steve Jobs.
Philip Seymour Hoffman has the scruffy look and the acting chops to nail a portrayal of the Woz. He might have to raise his voice a few octaves to really capture the Apple co-founder, but this is an Oscar winner we're talking about.
Jesse Eisenberg has already played the founder of Facebook, so filling Bill Gates' shoes shouldn't be a stretch. Eisenberg portrayed Mark Zuckerberg as a downright bitter character, which would prepare him well for a role as Jobs' (mostly friendly) rival.
Back in the 80s when Jobs paid George Lucas $5 million to acquire Pixar, the director was--amazingly--seen without that trademark beard. Whichever facial hair direction the biopic decides to take, Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo is ready to deliver: He's gone from shaved clean to scruffy himself, never losing those thick-rimmed spectacles.
Steve Jobs' second wife, Laurene Powell Jobs, has largely evaded the spotlight in the Apple story, but we do know she's big on natural foods, is a philanthropist with a passion for education and has a flowing mane of straw-blonde hair. That last quality makes Meryl Streep a perfect pick for the role, and the actress' renown should cancel out any cred points the biopic loses for casting Kutcher as the lead.
Larry Ellison was one of Jobs' closest friends (he even tried to buy Apple in 1995 so Jobs could be reinstated as CEO), and who better to play that mensch than the Hebrew Hammer, Adam Goldberg?
Sometimes, casting non-fictional characters just comes down to resemblance. In this vein, we think Stephen Tobolowsky has the looks and the authoritative air to capture Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt, who knew Jobs since the era of NeXT Computer.
Here's another incident of appearance-based casing that's too delicious to pass up: Scott Baio as Google co-founder Sergey Brin. Sure, they don't have much in common other than their looks, but this is our dream cast--and Baio is spending too much time on Twitter these days, anyway.
To play the other Google co-founder Larry Page, we pick Justin Long. Hey, he already has practice playing a Mac in commercials.
Adding to the roster of well-respected actors, we tap Julianne Moore for Steve Jobs' long-lost sister Mona Simpson.
Rob Reiner bears a strong resemblance to Steve Jobs' Syrian-born biological father. It will be a sad role to play, as the Apple founder chose never to meet Jandali. (However, they did once cross paths at Jandali's Palo Alto restaurant, unaware of each others' identities.)
Ed Begley Jr. looks like someone who could play a CEO, wouldn't you agree? How about the CEO who effectively ousted Jobs from Apple and prompted him to go start NeXT? The actor might have to frown for once.
Liam Neeson's career seems to be on a downward spiral lately (Wrath of the Titans? Really?), and we hate to see such great talent going to waste. What could be a better career-booster than the acting challenge of a lifetime: playing Apple's relatively new CEO and the so-called "most powerful gay man in the world"? We trust Neeson can drop the Irish accent for the occasion.
English actor Jason Statham is certifiably bad-ass, and that's just how we want to see the mind behind Apple's legendary designs portrayed. This Jony Ive wouldn't let Kutcher's Jobs get away with taking any credit for product designs.
Hunger Games actress Jennifer Lawrence is all the rage these days, so why not throw her in as Jobs' daughter from his first marriage?