Only Losers Don't Carry an iPhone. Yes, You.

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curve-jewels1You know who you are. You try to make your BlackBerry Curve look hipper by hiding it in a Bedazzled case. And when you're out a restaurant or bar, when everyone else is comparing their wicked cool iPhone apps, you fire up App World--only to be reminded that Ticketmaster won't earn you all that much street cred. You just don't get it. Man, you might as well put that thing back in its holster and go home.

'Tis the sorry state for anyone who doesn't own an iPhone. Sure, there are plenty of other good new devices out there, like the Palm Pre (provided yours doesn't have any defects) and the sleek BlackBerry Tour. And, unlike the iPhone, both of the above Editors' Choice Award-winning handsets have phsyical keyboards and can multitask. But neither of these smart phones are real conversation starters.

Why? That's because their app stores are weak. I mean, after you're done shuffling cards on the Pre's interface or showing off your backlit keys on the Tour, what's left to talk about? These days apps are social currency, and if you don't have a vast array to choose from, you might as well be a mute.

And don't get me started on that new Verizon commercial. You know, the one where they try to convince you that the carrier has a ton of cool apps like Twitter and Need for Speed for the LG enV Touch. I'm sorry, but these apps aren't even in the same league as what you'll find on everyday smart phones, nevermind the iPhone.

So what does this all mean? Are you uncool if you don't have an iPhone? Absolutely. I hope you can live with yourself.

Author Bio
Mark Spoonauer
Mark Spoonauer, LAPTOP Editor in Chief
Responsible for the editorial vision for Laptop Mag and Tom's Guide, Mark Spoonauer has been Editor in Chief of LAPTOP since 2003 and has covered technology for nearly 15 years. Mark speaks at key tech industry events and makes regular media appearances on CNBC, Fox and CNN. Mark was previously reviews editor at Mobile Computing, and his work has appeared in Wired, Popular Science and Inc.
Mark Spoonauer, LAPTOP Editor in Chief on
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  • fuckyou Says:

    ill keep my 4k screen oh wait iphone not 4k loser

  • not a loser Says:

    I didn't read the article because I know from the title that it was written by a loser who knows nothing. Have you ever considered getting a life?

  • lyla Says:

    hey guess wat? i have the palm pre! I dont care if the apps are stupid, if you relly need an app to tell you a good pizza place in the area, then u truly r a loser. i prefer the full keypad rather than texting with a touch screen!!! What kinda apps would u consider good? The games?? well guess wat!! most phones have games anyways!! they might as well make an app where u can buy hamsters! but guess wat!!! There's no app for that!

  • WTF! Says:

    Yay iphone?
    Give me a break. Your non-free mini-wanna be iphone apps are not very impressive. Apple's oversight on what apps get approved even less impressive (and they sued microsoft. please).

    Smart phones are the way to go. Once you get past the asthetics, the iphone is more of a brick shaped delicate nuisance than anything else.

    When they can truly multi-task, reboot remote servers, allow true file sharing between devices, be recognized by any apple, pc, or *nix machine when plugged in as a smart-device where files can be dragged and dropped without a middleman(itunes), run a webserver, and let people develop whatever applications they want for free to distribute how they want, then maybe I'll be impressed. Impressed with Apple's ability to realize their model is doomed to fail, and finally catch up with the rest of the open-source, open-format, homogenious world.

    Losers buy anything apple. It's a proven fact. Look at the person next to you with the iphone or ipod. THey are empty shells, just like their devices. I pity them.

  • AQ Says:

    C'mon folks, I'm sure this article was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Having said that, I've had my unlocked Nokia E71 for nearly five months now, and I'm quite thrilled with its capabilities. I can buy an iPhone at the discount pricing after October 15, but I'm not sure if I'd be okay with losing the hardware QWERTY keyboard and multitasking capabilities of the E71.

  • daniel Says:

    Mark, seriously, what a stupid article. I really like the iPhone and I own one, but your article? not even a little. Sorry man, keep working harder.

  • K. T. Bradford Says:


    I also own a Samsung Saga and love it. But I get really depressed every time I take note of the lack of useful apps. I just tried to find an ereader app that doesn't suck and.. failed.

  • John A Says:

    If you need to buy an iPhone so that you have something to talk about, then you are not, and never will be, cool.

  • Russell A. Wheeler Says:

    I have a Samsung Saga on Verizon and its "cool" for me. I have Twitter and Facebook along with apps like the Opera browser, eWallet (for passwords) and mVoice (for audio recording). I also have Garmin GPS navigation capability and even connect a Bluetooth keyboard to take notes during meetings. My device also doubles as a wireless broadband modem so I can access the internet anywhere via secure connection (not an unsecured WiFi hotspot). Why the Samsung Saga? Because the network is great and I like Windows Mobile! I've been a loyal Verizon customer since 2001 and cannot foresee switching networks to be "cool" with the latest device. I will admit that I own an iPod Nano (3rd Gen) and firmly believe it's the best player on the market. However, Anonymous brings up a good point about everyone owning an iPhone. That's great if that's what you want and/or you always follow what's most popular to be "cool." One last thought: Your device is only as good as the network you're on!

  • Pascale Says:

    I have discovered the best of both worlds: my BB Pearl handles email and work-related apps. I have Twitter, FaceBook, and other stuff as well. My place of work has a BB server, and most of our business apps are not available on iPhone.
    A couple of weeks ago I got an iPod Touch. Now I can play with those iPhone apps (most of which are seriously lame...) and use it when I'm in range of a Wi-Fi network without being stuck with AT&T's crappy service.
    I will be able to upgrade my BlackBerry about the time the Magnum is supposed to be available. Now *that* is a device that could rival iPhone... even without the iBeer app!

  • Anonymous Says:

    Showing off your apps only make you more of a loser. The Iphone will be the phone you don't want because everyone else has one. Remember the Razr? Yea, I know you do. And seriously, who goes around showing off their apps anyways?

  • simon Says:

    Wow what a stupid article from an otherwise good source for laptop and phone news

    I personally own an Android device and love it. If that means I am uncool, then that is fine with me. And though Android may not have as many apps in the app store as the iPhone, it has quite a bit and many are quite useful. Plus I don't have to deal with Apple proprietary crap, I can put whatever the hell I want on my Android is just another harddrive. I can also run multiple apps at once with no problem....I know that is not very cool. I guess I am cool with being uncool

  • Ernie Says:

    What about Nokia smartphone? I live it over iphone!

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