NFL Surface Type Cover Keyboard Unveiled

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Microsoft announced new NFL team-branded editions of its Surface Type Cover keyboard, which will work with the Surface Pro 3 and Surface Pro 4. The keyboards will be available starting Aug. 15 at Microsoft Stores and at microsoftonline.com for $159.

The NFL-branded keyboards look to be versions of the Signature Type Cover ($159), albeit with team logos on the underside. The keyboards are swathed in a two-tone, gray mélange Alcantara fabric, "a unique and innovative material used in high-end luxury products, sourced only from Italy," according to Microsoft's site.

However, the NFL Type Covers will have a little something extra for the fans. Here's a look at the special features of each.

 

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Arizona Cardinals
Macro key inserts "Show me the money!"

Atlanta Falcons
Speakers automatically increase volume to drown out conversation.

Baltimore Ravens
Pretty good, but questions about how long it will hold up.

Buffalo Bills
Packaging claims it's a lot better than it actually performs.

Carolina Panthers
Starts Dabbing every time you send an email.

Chicago Bears
Works pretty well, but gets consistently bad reviews online.

Cincinnati Bengals
Built-in speakers say, "Who Dey!" but not much else.

Cleveland Browns
Has only two keys: Escape and Delete.
Dallas Cowboys
Twice as large as the others and makes a lot of noise as you type, but only half the keys work.

Denver Broncos
Has a dedicated button for ordering Papa John's Pizza.

Detroit Lions
Randomly enters curse words as you type.

Green Bay Packers
Comes with built-in finger warmers, which you'll never use.

Houston Texans
Works well at first, but falls apart quickly.

Indianapolis Colts
Only works well indoors.

Jacksonville Jaguars
Compatible only with Microsoft Surface RT.

Kansas City Chiefs
Types everything you enter, but very, very slowly.

Los Angeles Rams
Will get up and move off your desk every few years.

Miami Dolphins
Always compared to older, far superior Microsoft PS2 ergonomic keyboard.

Minnesota Vikings
Top of keyboard may cave in unexpectedly.

New England Patriots
Can be inflated or deflated to just the right height.
New Orleans Saints
Has one really good key, but it might fall off at any time.
New York Giants
Never seems to work, except during big presentations.
New York Jets
Comes with a retro mink liner, but works only a quarter of the time.

Oakland Raiders
Made up of used parts from other keyboards.

Philadelphia Eagles
Types everything in all caps. Easily removable batteries for throwing at opponents.

Pittsburgh Steelers
Keyboard made out of iron, weighs 10 pounds.

San Francisco 49ers
Has LTE, Wi-Fi, NFC and Bluetooth, but can't connect in the air with anything.

Seattle Seahawks
Automatically pairs with noise-cancelling headset.

San Diego Chargers
Threatens to shut down unless you renew your subscription to Office 365.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Note: Creamsicle-colored version has been recalled.

Tennessee Titans
Older models were great, but it hasn't worked well in about a decade.
Washington
Owner Dan Snyder charges you 10 cents every time you press a letter.

 

Editor's Note: If you haven't guessed this is a parody by now, well, it is.

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